Did You Ever Feel These Words “I Love you, but I Hate you”

Allegra Falconer

What can burn us more than the Sun can?
What can give our life meaning?
What is that thing we all want and it isn’t money?
– Love.

Is there anything stronger than that? Love has the power to do anything in this world. It can make a strong person become weak. It can make a weak person become strong. It can make you the happiest man/woman on Earth, or it can destroy you.

Really, I can’t find the correct explanation for the word – relationship. I guess that relationship is a road that leads to love, and from love it leads to happiness.

However, it can go straight down to the bottom of the ocean if you let it, and you could drown. That’s our topic for today. Can you recognize if your relationship is going to make you suffer? Where does a love-hate relationship lead you to?

Is It Worth It?

Like I already said, relationships can make us better or they can ruin us. I will use men as example. Did you know that one of the ways to increase fertility in men is for them to have a healthy relationship?

Yes, that’s true. It’s a fact that a negative relationship can make us, men, less fertile. How is that? The same reason for anything else – stress. Stress can indeed affect us this way so choose your partners carefully.

Now that was just one example of how a relationship can affect someone. There are lots and lots more.

Before we get into analyzing, let’s see what this specific type of relationship, a love-hate relationship, really is.

Type Of Relationship

Do you Know What a Love-Hate Relationship Is?

This is a weird type of relationship, let me tell you that. It really goes pretty fast from loving your significant other to hating your significant other. Yes, I am aware of how this sounds, and yes, it does exist.

So, you may ask if these relationships last, how and why.

Well, they could last, and that should be enough. It really strikes me as impossible but yes, they can and in some cases, they do last pretty long. However, I would never recommend this to anyone.

As for why they last, hmm. Well, in most cases, it is pretty interesting. All of us know that relationships can be destroyed pretty quick if they become monotonous. That’s the true relationship killer.

Changing a few things now and then will definitely save our relationship and keeping it interesting will make it concrete.

You see, with those constant changes from love to hate, things can get pretty intense. Intense emotions trigger certain situations to occur. Whether they are good or bad, eventually, when the dust is settled, the grass in your relationship will seem a lot greener.

At least until the next fight. And so on. This comes from love for your significant other, however, it isn’t really a healthy relationship and definitely not a recommended one. It may last because of its turbulence and diversity.

Also, another fact is that the nervous circuits that are responsible for feeling hate are the exact same ones responsible for feeling love. So, if they come from the same place it is indeed possible that they can often get switched.

Both of those emotions are powerful, similar, and pretty intense, so that’s where the biological confusion may appear.

What to Do If You Get in That Situation?

Get in That Situation

First of all you must recognize the problem. That doesn’t seem like much, but it is a huge step forward.

Pay attention to small details. Pay attention to your feelings lately, when it comes to your relationship.

Pay attention to your partners feelings lately, of course, when it comes to your relationship.

Are you arguing a lot? Do things seem okay for a couple of days and then the same story continues, making a vicious, never ending cycle?

If you recognized that, it is time for some changes.

The second part is to talk to your partner. We should never, and I mean never, keep our feelings inside of us, hidden under lock and key. Open up and share your emotions, share your thoughts.

That’s why the relationships exist in the first place. Talk about what you have noticed. Ask your partner if he/she feels the same way.

Then, the finale. Change something.

It doesn’t matter who starts those fights, both of you must change. Accept some things as they are, change the ones that you have, but make sure that it is mutual.

Plan something together. Surprise one another. Laugh, talk, then laugh again. That’s the number one tip on ending your love-hate relationship.

We can plan a nice vacation with our significant other. We can plan a nice little weekend, a nice walk to the park, a trip to the zoo. Plan something you haven’t done before, or something you wanted to do for a long time.

What Isn’t Broken Shouldn’t Be Fixed?

People get lazy in long relationships that they forget to appreciate their partner’s time. They forget to think about all the things that I have mentioned earlier. At one moment they hate each other, at the other they are happy and careless.

So, if that’s the case, we might get to think that those frequent fights are actually normal, casual, small fights that every couple has. Well, it’s wrong!

In this case, the vase is actually breaking with each argument. The only way to repair it, is to notice that you are in a vicious love-hate cycle.

Don’t get lazy and accept those things like they are normal, because they really aren’t. It can get appealing, your “make up” will seem like the peak of your love, but really, after so many “break ups”, eventually, things will end.

What Isn’t Broken Shouldn’t Be Fixed

Can this Affect Your Health?

Like I already explained in the beginning – Yes.

This love-hate relationship can destroy not only us, but our partners as well.

If things aren’t going off the rails that much, then it can be safe, for a while. However, if our relationship turns into a battle, things could get nasty for us.

The first thing that will get destroyed in the process, and a really important segment of our lives, is our mental health.

I am sure that you know that everything comes from our minds. You can literally get sick if your mind is sick with poisonous thoughts.

A “sick mind” will try and free itself from the claws of negativity through stress. You will feel intense stress, which is your mind telling you that things aren’t right up there, using your body as a way of communication.

You must listen!

If we don’t put an end to that, one way or another, our health will pay the price. Maybe not immediately, but eventually.

I have already mention a problem that can happen to men. Believe or not, that’s the easiest thing that can happen. There are much worse things.

Final Thoughts About Love-Hate Relationships

All in all, I would never recommend them to anyone.

They may seem interesting when you look at them that way, but they are a silent killer. Maybe we won’t notice it right away but our love-hate relationship has already started its master plan.

Don’t let it determine your future with your loved one.

Don’t get carried away by some of the thrills you may feel while in such a relationship. They will leave consequences far worse than imagined.

Also, a very important thing – Don’t be afraid to let go.

Some things really shouldn’t be repaired. Maybe it’s time to leave that sinking ship.

Constant arguments aren’t really a strong sign of love. If things aren’t going right, ask yourself if this is the right person for you.

If you are positive about what you feel, and believe in that relationship, then save it. If there is the slightest doubt that it is, maybe you shouldn’t bother at all.

Love-Hate Relationships

A lot of us get carried away and get used to the person next to us. We think it is love, but it actually isn’t. Know the difference between love and lust!

Maybe your partner is just your habit and nothing more. That isn’t healthy at all, and that may be the reason for your love-hate relationship.

Most of the time, it is, actually. But, it doesn’t necessarily mean that that’s your reason.

Think carefully about your relationship, about your partner, about your life together. If you have to, go visit a therapist, just don’t put your mental health on the line.

It’s a terrible price to pay.

Conclusion:

At the end, all that I can say is that you must take care and not be afraid to think and feel. Don’t force yourself into something that might hurt you badly and make wise decisions.

I hope that this article provided you with the necessary information about the vicious love-hate relationship. All of us need help, don’t be ashamed of that.

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